I am not a picky eater.
I am not another angry yelper.
I do not have a yelp account and neither should you.
I know more about restaurants than I let on.
Yes, I’ve worked in them.
Yes, I’ve built them.
Yes, I know how to cook.
Yes, I have higher standards than you.
A ♦♦ score is REALLY an awesome score.
If you hate me, it’s because you SERVE shitty food, EAT shitty food, or HIRE shitty staff.
I make waitresses cry.
I’m probably in your dining room right now.