Flavor Factory closed. SLO Wine & Beer closed. Giuseppe’s Cucina Rustica closed for remodel. The Tavern is open in Atascadero. A pool hall. That will be interesting. Lord knows that end of town needs something staying open past 6. Up the street in downtown, the City has opened two lots for prospectus, RFQ & P in Centennial Plaza. That will be even more interesting. Speaking of Centennial Plaza… That brewery down in there behind the theatre is rather good: food AND beer. Over in Colony, I heard the tea shoppe closed… drove by and couldn’t really tell any difference from normal vague shutteredness as tea-shoppes are prone to look from years of watching tea-shoppes operate and fade, operate and fade, and no one outside of their fanbase knows the difference. Cucumbers rejoice. What else in Atascadero? Still haven’t been to Barley & Boar; Whatever that resty on the corner across from Sherwin Williams was is becoming another TR… I’m sure it will be stellar wine like everything else in Atascadero. Still miss Fossil–which is now a salon. I just eat tacos in Atascadero–it’s literally all I have the energy for. The place down by Play It Again Sports is gone (so is Play it again sports), Suprema is back to full-capacity, and Papi’s hasn’t taken the NEW OWNERSHIP banner down for 4 years. Still haven’t made it to Martinez’s new location in the Chinese restaurant–loved them in Paso but it just seems so HUGE and sit-down. Fuego Rosticeria has opened recently, and i’m excited to see if the menu reflects the regional rosticerias found in the NW corner of Santa Maria. Top 5 tacos in town?

Papi’s 1
Ale’s
Suprema
Fiesta
Taco Stand–Azteca tie

Up in Paso–wait: before we discuss Paso, you have to drive through Templeton and THE best tacos north of Ontario Grade is at La Chata. Go there. Fun fact: I have a 1955 SoCal Auto Club road map (gotta remember in 1955 the 101 was slowly inching north through Ventura and while many ‘by-passes’ existed, the road was pretty much El Camino Real) which shows everything to do betweeen Santa Barbara and Salinas. Guess waht towns are on it? San Luis Obispo. Santa Margarita. Templeton. San Miguel. (+ Morro Bay off the beaten path). No mention of Paso or The Bog.

Up in Paso… I dunno… cruised around a few times and didn’t see anything new and all the same closures are static so all I’m gonna say is: Wineries need to be in the wine business and get out of the food business that’s all and I’m right and you know it and you shiny influencers can kick and scream and argue IT DOESN’T HURT ANYTHING and IT’S GOOD FOR THE REGION all you want. Destination wineries are bad for business districts and *tin cities* are bad for downtown and I’m right so Top 5 tacos in town?

La Reyna
Jalisco
Burritos Express

Kinda like shiny influencers crowing about Restaurant Month. Bad for the economy. Bad for restaurants. Bad for staff. Bad for the industry. Bad for the guest. Good for Yelp. Should be all the litmus you need.

The only place I really hear about Restaurant Month is SLO, because cheap, academic, boomer creates the perfect petri dish for such festivities (like film festivals) and the hub of glowing flatbrims eager to promote it. Novo’s remodel is done and they DID preserve some dining in the front room, so that’s good. Bar has a couple more stools… Next door Christmas at the Carrisa has expired for another year but the old hotel stays open Thursday through Saturday noon-MIDNIGHT and Sunday all-day brunch as Rod & Hammer Whiskey Shop. Over in mid-town PLATYPUS has opened where the all-ages gay nightclub was supposed to be. Not sure what happened there, but the Skipper’s people have moved the majority of their Down Under-themed food to the former Giant Grinder. It’s good! I ate there TWICE last week. Plus an all Kiwi/Oz winelist and beer. And THE BEST EXPRESSO IN TOWN–also Australian. Just up the road J&L Hawaiian BBQ is open and their katsu chicken is SPECTACULAR. Don’t be afraid of the 13.99 price tag: there’s like, THREE POUNDS of glistening pounded breast in a crispy shell. Waht else is new in town? Let’s see… Schoolyard makes absolutely THE BEST cheeseburger you have ever had. Order the Leroy exactly as it is on the menu. Lure Fish House is getting CLOSE. SLO Public Market has a bunch of predictable holes back there and over there. And the now-common random closures and food-vacancies. Had bao lately? Seen that deli-case lately? Ice cream anyone? How about some really cool TEA??? The bright spots at the market remain Todo Bueno, Kitchen & Vine and the distillery, but if it weren’t for dirtbag hot chicken, that place would be GHOST. Oh, and there’s winery tasting room serving vegan food now. You think I made that up dontcha? Something else I heard yesterday was closed suddenly for *remodel* but I can’t remember now. Top 5 tacos in town? yeah… not going there. Burritos Express and Todos Bueno. Speaking of Giant Grinder… here’s a list I’m going to use as a segue to Morro Bay:

Changing hours
Strange closings
Veggie COD
“We’re out of that wine.”
Sudden manager vacancies
Owner on floor
Pizza added to menu

Grape Leaf Deli closed. Huge fuckin shocker there. What an eyesore–and ear-sore–on Main Street. Bro can NOT blame covid for that one–he did it all himself–using covid and personality to destroy all appeal. But hey: pizza, remember? Across the street Felicia’s or Felicity or something hasn’t actually opened under the 12th coat of bright paint on that poor building; practically next door Los Morro BBQ closed after, what? three months? and kitty corner at the end of the block, Babydudes remains closed til Feb. 3 as they feverishly work to turn the old retail space next door into a watering hole. Not sure if IT will open sychronistically, but there’s a lot of hi-tops and pinbal games and couches with dogs on them. Across the street, the world headquarters of Scout Coffee continues to rise from the bank-vault in absolutely NO hurry. Farther up, Killian’s Irish Pub (I made that up since I have no clue what the name is and don’t care) remains papered but *close*. Foster Freeze is closed on Wednesdays. Down on Embarcadero, Morro Grill seems to be a hit in a cursed spot, with full seats and 100% positive buzz around the burg. At the opposite end, half of our BAM-BAM next door Mexican dueling burros Maya suddenly closed a week or so ago and has not re-opened. Rumor is: health family emergency, something the deli up in town seems to have frequently also. Something in the water out there. Bums. Bums are mostly all that’s in the water in Morro Bay. If you haven’t been out there lately, Morro Bay has a RIDICULOUS homeless problem. I think the fresh scrubbing of the *problem* by Grover Beach and Atascadero perhaps have contributed? Weather’s sure a lot nicer. Harbor Walk seems to have gotten their electricity, and Harbor Walk Inn and Harbor Walk Gallery and Harbor Walk Market all vieing for the alpha Harbor Walk theme. No sign of Off The Harbor Walk Bar & Grill. Top 5 tacos in town?

Sinclair Station
*huge gap*
Food Mix
*nothing more*

Down in 5 Cities, Hannah’s is open next to the Hawaiian BBQ joint in the old Round Table. Of course Ember has new owners, or THE EMBERS as most of AG calls it. Fuego seems to be closed off and on and going right on 1 takes you to The Break: the most exciting thing down there RN. Billed as a “sports bar”–something I am deathly allergic to–you barely even notice. Top 5 tacos in town?

La Tap 13th
Moreno’s
Guererro
Central Market
The Artist Formerly Known as Tito’s Red Tacos
La Tap (yes those in the back rows will notice this new shift in the time-space continuum and I stand by it and feel bad but I don’t write about tacos with squishy warm feelings and I think this market’s days are numbered)
end of list and no, Chubby Burrito Boy: chacho’s and efren’s are not on the list. not even close. Forced to add one more it would be La Parilla or El Guero THE TRUCK ONLY NOT EITHER OF THEIR BRICK & MORTARS (which are designed exclusively for afore-mentioned Chubby Burrito Bro)

There’s actually a bunch of interesting stuff going on in Santa Maria rn but I don’t have the energy for it. Also I think Shaw’s is better than HP Casmalia. I know that’s heresy, but I was there–you weren’t. Also: please remember (unlike I did) (or unlike I did not) (or like I didn’t) Casmalia DOES NOT have a Hitching Post winelist. Only Buellton. As much As I have glowed about this resty in the past couple decades, I honestly don’t think i’ll ever go to Casmalia again. Not worth it. Jsut go to Shaw’s. Or The Inn. The Swiss is pretty far down the list and rumor has it Jocko’s has COMPLETELY LOST IT. I have never been to Far Western since the move to Orcutt. Probably should do that, I dunno…

Now go outside and play and don’t come back till supper-time because the washer repairman is here.