The Doc Bernstein’s in SLO has become SLO A LA MODE… still ice cream and there WERE rumors of some sort of insider-trading from the old ownership to the new operators but I stopped eating ice cream when I was 9 so don’t really care. Go to BATCH like a grown-up. Did I ever write about FERAL here? I feel like I went there during one of my long dry spells of contributing to this diary. It’s nice. Interesting menu. Still kinda feels like the armpit which was Mother’s but they’ve done a pretty good job of polishing the turd with lavish themes of green velvet and brass (Nate’s on Marsh anyone???) and plentiful taxidermy. Which…. I mean…. Well… I try not to think about taxidermy in my dining establishments. Or maybe they try not to think about me. Have you ever been to Granziano’s or Grizellda’s (sp) up in Willows or Colusa or some god-forsaken pull-off on I5 up there? THAT will put the taxedermy in dinner for you. Over on Morro St., Nourish–and the closet next door–has morphed into a design outlet for Kimberly Walker’s prolific ideas and is packed with curious and beautiful items she has collected all over the globe for incorporation into her Nomada Hotels and now YOU can include them in your abode as well. It’s called NOMADA DECO and is’t probably the most exciting thing to write about this week even though it’s not about food.

Rosalina is gone. That one bites. That poor town. You KNOW my *three restaurant rule* for a town to be “on the map” as a true destination and to be considered legitimate and oh boy! how Santa Margarita has edged me over the years, dangling short-lived actualities and rumors of grandeur in front of me for EVER. The Porch has really been the crux of the stew, bursting in and out of owners and remodels and dinner-service and being on & off the three restaurant scoreboard enough times to lose track. They currently DO have dinner service Tue thru Sat until 8 and even kinda a bar in the corner with a stage for live local music. But Rosalina was always the meat in the 3 Resty Rule between Porch and Range, and now it’s gone. I get sad every time a restaurant closes but this one really stings. Kinda almost personal.

Finally got into the new Jewish deli in Colony District. Man oh man oh man I can not stress enough–despite the bland decor, pulse-less service, non-existant menus and bagel-shortages–THIS IS THE MOST AMAZEBALLS REUBEN YOU WILL EVER HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. Jimboys or something… Also, I heard Halfway Station took the Cubano off their menu, which I JUST wrote about–singing its praises–while chewing dryly on the “area’s best Cuban offerings” at Cubanissimo in Orcutt. Boy that’ll make you miss Milanes even MOAR. Speaking of Milanes, you KNOW Jorge’s daughter is taking orders and making sandwiches for pick-up in Los Osos or delivery but there’s no address, phone number, instagram, nothing so it’s really a non-event and stop telling me excitedly about it because without marketing, it doesn’t do any good.

Farther out 41–where it hits the ocean–the Infusion Thai Fusion phase of the old Flavor Factory is on the cusp of opening. Dear DOG I hate the word fusion. Instant asterisk. Be creative people. Try hard. Make up your mind about your menu. You can do it! “Fusion” is a CRUTCH. Nothing screams vision-less mid-westerner and sinks ships quicker than Fusion. Beach Burger’s closing is a big enough event to merit another mention, and next door, Roger Sharp’s sweet shop has been shuttered for weeks. Does this mean he has changed the intro to his interesting-almost-to-the-point-of-compelling RESTAURANT MILLIONAIRE videos to “7”? Scallywag Coffee is the only thing left down there. Tough times for coffee in Morro Bay–and everyone blames it on Scout. I won’t do it though. Sure, there’s probably been a small effect, but the recent spat of issues bagan LONG before. One GOOD side though: Sweet Reef–the amazing little place hiding under Umi Sushi–is bringing their delicious little handfuls of taiyaki (and boba) down onto playa-proper by taking over the surprise-shuttered Daisy’s location. This is an EPIC move which is going to both thrust her unpronouncable delicacies into the hands and mouths of millions of new customers but breathe much-needed traffic into the backside of The Boatyard.

Speaking of UMI and The Boatyard and all that: WHY do we have an empty restaurant space achoring the ground floor–for TWO YEARS now–of a new building whose use permit and master lease agreement was contigent on an operating restaurant in the building? OK, enough politics for one week. Go outside and play!