Been a while…. lots going on. Nothing SUPER exciting, but still. I haven’t written in a month so *some* of this will come off as old news but bears repeating.

I think the biggest shock since the last Resty Gossip is of course The Spoon Trade closing. We all knew the property was going away but I guess I always thought they would merely MOVE. I mean… this is a closure of epic proportions and leaves a gut-punch hole in South County dining. Down the street, the LA-facation of Grover Beach continues with faceless residential cubes rising all around with acres of vague *mixed use* space below which makes city planners and council members moist but rarely translate to the bustling city centers they envisioned. Two new Thai spots–or maybe just noodle spots, not sure–one in the ground floor of one of these buildings and another taking over my personal favorite Thai in the area: the old Divine Thai shack. Not sure the status of the old Sister Thai spot next to Spoon Trade. Speaking of Thai, the old place on the corner in Pismo is getting a big remodel and I noticed the one in The Village has changed names. Also, the newest spot in SLO: TYPHOON is technically Thai, but oh boy is it so much more. I LOVE THIS PLACE! Get the boat noodle. Get the chicken. Get everything.

Speaking of mixed use, the Anderson Hotel remodel ($1,000,000/unit) has landed a ground-floor industry tenant in the form of a cute coffee shop: part victorian steampunk bakery, part speakeasy, part cotton club after hours. SLO’s latest IYKYK hot-spot and the content on multiple influencer highlight reels. Yay! So cool! *finger hearts* Down the street, The Carrisa was open throughout the holiday season with a Christmas Fantasy-themed situation but I never found the time to attention which jived with their hours. In the next block, Village Burger has closed after–I’m gonna say–a solid TEN? year run??? Ate there a couple times… not terrible. Not great. Out at The Rock, Rod & Hammer have turned restaurant operations at SLO Brew over to a group of guys who–I guess–want to be in the brewery taproom business! Hard to say if any changes will be noticeable. I suppose it’s reasonable to expect the menu to get freshened up a bit… maybe even see some other beers poured–not sure how all that’s structured. They’ve been wanting to get out of the resty business for a while, to focus 100% on the distillery brand. R&H will continue to operate all whiskey-related aspects of the property, including the Tasting Room and VIP salon. Concerts and productions at the Event Center are unchanged.

Big news down in The Creamery: Gold Land BBQ has closed their little counter and opened in the great double-space across the courtyard where Cider was and then Quesadilla Gorilla and 14 other things have been but this is fabulous news, as Goldland finally gets lots of indoor seating, a bar, a vastly expanded menu–including breakfast, burgers and more–and brings basically a full-service, non-ethnic resty to this end of town. This transition moves them instantly from ♦♦ to their deserved ♦♦♦ on THE RESTAURANT LIST. Across the courtyard, Chef Nico’s empire expands–but this time out in Laguna at the former location of our beloved Upper Crust–with the opening of NICOLA RESTAURANT. I have not been… Oh and the quesadilla thing? They BOTH moved out to the Foothill Strip practically across the street from each other: Press Quesadilla Grill and Quesadilla Gorilla. Listen: before you roll your eyes, I’ve had both of them and they are NOT TERRIBLE! No, really: I expected to hate them and each are rather good. Expand your horizons!

A little farther up the college-corridor, the BIG news has to be MARCERRO at the Dairy Creek Golf Course. New owners with incredible vision, with social-style golf activities, glamping, a full bar, and a beautiful remodel for the new restaurant, which: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MENU???

Headed out to Morro Bay, the big news on everyone’s tongues this week is MOSEY’S BURGER opening their second location in the former Babydudes patio overlooking downtown. The interesting part is the inclusion of Grinning Bear’s fried chicken truck IN the patio. Those in the back rows will note Morro Bay does not presently–not has had–ONE SINGLE PIECE of fried chicken in town. Not a single one. And Grinning Bear fried chicken is GREAT. As far as Mosey’s burgers? I’ve talked about this at length: they’re *ok*. It’s really just a basic handful. It’s good. But extremely basic. And one could argue *basic* is exactly what a smashburger should be. I agree. I also applaud them for staying true to the recipe in a world where every Tom, Dick & Harry hamburger is suddenly a “smashburger”. Just stop it, people. I would rank Mosey’s smashburger mid-pack in the grand scheme. And how that grand scene has changed over the years. Many have vacated the fray and a couple have joined. Let’s go:

The Old Alehouse
Low Tide Spot
Mosey’s Burger
–pretty big gap–
Schoolyard
SLO Brew Rock
The Break
Humdinger
StaXXX

Did I miss anyone? You WILL notice a new entry: LOW TIDE SPOT in Pismo, who are doing everything absolutely PERFECTLY including a real live Oklahoma Onion Burger, which those of you who study food culture will recognize as pretty much THE impetus for the (Denver) smashburger as we know it. Let me emphasize: THERE IS A SMASHBURGER RECIPE. And it is strict. And I am strict about it. And one final note: if you come on here lecturing me about any facet of American cheese, you will go on a no-fly list. I mean–come ON! Do you know who you’re dealing with here??!? The elephant in the room for Mosey’s is of course a restaurant going into the former location of a restaurant doing nearly the same thing–something I have railed against the logic of many times. In this case though, I believe Mosey’s will be successful because they bring only unadulterated food to the party. No sermons. No angry vibes. No political conquests. Just food. Restaurants who preach are short-lived, and we could make quite a list, couldn’t we? Stay in your lane. In the wise words of Big Night: “Sometimes a man… He just wants a steak.”

Speaking of BIG NIGHT (the best food movie ever made in the history of the planet) Palm Theatre is showing it TODAY and TOMORROW at 4:15 in cahoots with Ox & Anchor. Not sure how it works but I guess you can go to the resty before or after the movie and they feed you a set menu probably having something vaguely to do with the movie. I recommend this movie at all costs. From the opening omelet, through reams of psychological industry truths, through the breathtakingly sexy timpano movement and into the final scene, ” The Omelet” which is 5:09, contains two words of dialogue, and is the absolute epitome of film-making AND food.

Remember El Mirador in Pismo? Of course you do. THE OG TACO SPOT. Well, it is now El Picosito from some people in Santa Maria and the views haven’t changed but the tacos are better. Moreno’s is still the best in Pismo, and plugs along despite the super-market-vibe of the El Guero empire across the street. Tito’s Red Taco–also practically next door–has closed and Morro Bay’s Chowa Bowl is anchoring the old car-hop at that famous corner. Speaking of El Guero: their new Morro Bay location gets a huge asterisk as shortly after opening the GUTTED the menu, removing everything and replacing it with a small card of 5 combo plates of course with rice and beans and that stupid iceberg salad with ranch because white people. So El Guero is basically dead to me. Along the lines of *dead to me* Mexican restaurants: I DID go to the new Ephren’s in Santa Maria. It’s OK. Way better than SLO, for sure.

Up in NoCo, there’s a new Chinese resty in Atascadero that is the worst Chinese food I have ever had except maybe Panda Express. Yes: even worse than Bamboo Bamboo, which is a mind-boggling realization. The ramen place I can’t spell or pronounce hasn’t opened across from Ceilo yet and from driving by the other day, it almost looks like something else is going in???? So weird. Has Lebber’s opened? I didn’t go down Traffic to see. The Taco Stand–one of my favorite taco spots in Atascadero–has become Happy Bites! selling crepes and a variety of other things. Probably will never be up there bored enough to find out. Down the street, Fuego Rustica is darker than usual. I mean–it’s always dark–and I know they moved some hours around, but are they even open? That’s sad if not.

Haven’t been to the new Lucas Sicilian Deli & Wine in The Village yet. Down at the RUGGED RADIO headquarters, a Wheelies Tacos & Coffee situation has arisen. I was going to tell you something about Nipomo but I forgot what it was. Also went to COYA Peruvian’s new brick & mortar. Still not sure why we have 4 Peruvian restaurants in the area, but it’s good. Also the whole Creekside Pizza and Network arenas are getting gutted for SLOMA’s arrival. I’m not sure how to feel about this. It’s great? An art museum downtown? I mean–it’s already downtown, just this is going to be DOWNTOWN. I think it’s great! Interesting but great. What other towns have museums in the downtown corridor drag??? That building has lots of potential and it will be nice to have the hippies scrubbed out of the back of the Network. Oh ya: EBONY (the most beloved resty in SLO according to SFgate) is moving again. Hey: Village Burger is empty. And there’s at least one spot on Garden St. Could hang out with all the other hippies at Linnaea’s. Nothing much to talk about at SLO Public Market… Brooks Brothers closed errrrr I mean Brooks Burgers, and everything else which WAS closed STAYED closed. Wait, no: there’s a weird little black-owned breakfast and full bar spot where the distillery tasting room was. It’s like “Friends & Supper” or something. Speaking of strange little drinking spots, Jan’s has taken over Tastes in the Alley in Paso. So that should be interesting. Everyone seems to love Jan’s in SLO these days. I walked in once and walked out. Need to pull the trigger on that I suppose. Over in SLO Ranch Market however: CRAZY new things going on. ALLLLLLLLL the restaurants are open now, including Paso Brewing, a gelato spot, a breakfast spot, a sushi spot, a biscuit spot, you can get a sandwich from the ridiculous deli and actually eat it indoors now! LOTS of indoor eating space now, though it does feel a bit mall-food-court-ey. And I’m warning you: kids love this place. And their moms, I guess–the true factor why there’s so many kids there. Oh you thought he Poly-Chads at hot chicken over at the public market were bad??? Get ready for STROLLER PARADE at the ranch. All demographics aside though: the bright spots for me are definitely PALO MESA’s crazy new Neopolitan pizza dispensary and Shekamoo Iranian food. Get there!

Oh hey: I did a BUNCH of housekeeping on both THE TACO LIST and THE RESTAURANT LIST and have both up-to-date so bookmark those.

Oh yeah, and it’s Restaurant Month. Boomer’s favorite holiday. Please tell me again how selling a cheap-skate, corner-cut, bargain SPECIAL MENU for 31 days benefits you and your employees for the rest of the year.