Well, Restaurant Month is over, so boomer and cheapskates everywhere can go back to not eating out or splitting plates and staff can go back to less explaining, real tickets with margins, and tips. So why do they do it? It’s a media thing. Look at it. Look who promotes it. It’s all tourism associations and their media mouthpieces. Restaurants begrudgingly promote it. Easily the most-hated month of the year for industry. And the long-term success rate of the PR is highly debatable. “Hey, let’s go up to San Luis Obispo for Restaurant Month” said NO TOURIST EVER. The only people who get excited about Resty Month is influencer and local boomer. One of them’s paid to gush and the other won’t be back.

Jonnyboy’s is still the best Reuben you’ve ever had in your life. Like a perfect grilled cheese sandwich made sweet sweet love to the flakiest pastrami under a ruffled starscape canopy of sauerkraut. And still the worst resty-feel around. Cold, stark, uninviting dining room that fills with smoke whenever they cook, inconsiderate, lackadaisical gen-Z staff, no menu posted, always looks closed, acoustics TERRIBLE and $54 for two sandwiches? Kinda worth it though. I’m going to dedicate an entire column to Atascadero one of these days. Been itching to just rove through town dredging up all the little spots. How’s Cielo doing lately? Haven’t been there in a while and was unimpressed originally. Figured it was a *growing-pains* thing. Out 41, Malu’s Kitchen closed and is being remodeled but the sign–errrrrr: banner–has not been removed from the fence (yes, you read that right and stay after class for a professional tutorial on how to evade sign-ordinances in any jurisdiction) so am guessing they are merely remodeling and will remain Malu’s Kitchen. The whole place should be bulldozed. Food’s pretty good though. Not terrible tacos at all, and the little Mexican ladies inside super-sweet. Back over on ECR, the hopscotch game of Martinez Panaderia has landed on the square formerly occupied by The Taco Stand next to Play-It-Again-Golf after vacating the huge Chinese resty on the main drag they had for about two years after leaving the old Foster Freeze car-hop above 24th in Paso. Loved them in Paso; never tried them in Atascadero, and they are currently ONLY a bakery at the new location–no food as of yet, but she hinted in that direction the other day. This is down across the street from Chalk Mt Deli (a place which would NOT show up on an Atascadero-list) and behind Ale’s Grill (a place which definitely WOULD get a spot on the list). Up in Paso, S’aranella opened in the old La Cosecha spot. Moving only slightly Iberious in food-style but from the LPC people and helmed by Justin Hall. No phone.

Out in Morro Bay, Mi Casa closed downtown and opened in the old Lolo’s spot up on Main in North Morro Bay. This might have been triggered by that whole piece of property being for sale: the yoga studio on the corner with full off-street parking, the space formerly occupied with A-Leave Antiques, the parking lot, Mi Casa, and the little blue house behind–the WHOLE thing could be yours for a paltry $3M (price un-confirmed). Unfortunately, The City is vehemently against mixed-use residential, housing, 3-story buildings, and basically everything logical in general and the property lies next to–but on the wrong side of–high density housing zoning, so more stagnation at this glorious showcase spot just inside the gateway to downtown from everywhere that matters is definite. In more doom for downtown dining, vaguely-menued, always empty, sign-less (crooked banner nailed to the wall and are you seeing a theme here?) Bay Deli is quadrupling their real estate by moving next door into the double-space with back & front patio where Top Dog recently stopped paying their bills. So an empty restaurant with no brand, no following, no decisive menu and no marketing taking an anchor dining destination downtown, assuredly causing a vacancy when the move is complete. So…. Downtown’s quest toward the *3-Restaurant Rule* continues. Current score? Six or seven B-Games and a couple C’s. Not a single A-Game in the lot. On a much more positive note, down on Embarcadero Sweet Reef took on newly-vacated Daisy’s Coffee at the harborwalk-front dining spot at the rear of The Boatyard, bringing boba and their delicious taiyaki handfuls out of the dank closet under Umi Sushi to a bright, vibrant pedestrian thoroughfare on the water. Apparently the woman with the frozen cookie dough around the corner bought the business and orchestrated the move–and this is a GREAT move. Down at the opposite end–and side–of Embarcadero, a fresh liquor license and window-paper is up on El Guero’s presumed spot and movements of trash around the patio. This will be, what, number five for them? This being a high-volume TOURIST spot though: I guarantee the food will be crafted in the same manner as the downtown SLO location: ridiculously over-stuffed fare with vague meats and salsas on limp, starchy tortillas, because that’s what makes the gringo Yelps skyrocket.

A little Roger Sharp news. Christ, I feel like there should be a weekly Roger Sharp special section. He deserves it. I mean…. forget Compass Health or North County Restaurant Group because Restaurant Millionaire is WAY better gossip. Big Rock Sweet Shop down in Morro Bay’s Salt Building re-opened suddenly this week after at least a month of emptiness. Blue Sky Bistro and Blue Shell’s remain unchanged and operating healthily. Kicker’s also is packed all the time, though the business is for sale. Not really a red flag: LOTS of restaurants you dine in every day are for sale. There’s just never a sign out front haha. Tito’s Red Tacos–errrrrr I mean T’s Red Tacos in Pismo is closed, however, and Mr. Sharp rolled out a complete menu re-vamp and re-direction for his flagship Big Bubba’s Bad Barbeque–a decade’s old stalwart with definite theme and following–re-christening it Bubba’s Smokehouse & Spirits, “Estab. 2025” and offering–among other things–pizza. You don’t need to follow this page very long to understand my feelings about *pizza* in the lifespan of a restaurant. What do you want on your Tombstone?

Speaking of tombstones, over in SLO Gus’s Grocery continues its semi-sad and definite downward spiral into tatters of the former brand. All the Go-Fund-Me’s in the world can’t save that place. Speaking of Roger Sharp, the space next to Barnes & Noble formerly the south branch of his excellent Tortilla Town and consistent taco-spot (Chicho’s???) has re-opened with… *drumroll* EFREN’S Number 5? 6? 7? bringing yet another mediocre taco experience to SLO’s white-people-taco-night masses. I say it’s a perfect fit. On a related note Efrens Laurel St. location’s north County twin: La Parilla in Atascadero (think about it: big bright beautiful clean orderly double-space in thriving strip mall with free chips & salsa and breakfast burritos and sour cream and packed lunchtime office-crowd dining room with not a Mexican in sight, they are literally TWINS) has gutted their once-expansive salsa bar to full gringo spec: a watery rojo, an equally bland verde, a aguacate/tomatilla paste also labeled “mild” and–wait for it–PINK HAB, the most-SLO salsa of all salsas. You counted right: that’s three MILD’s in a bar which formerly held 7 or 8. And don’t forget: the other marketing trait these two taquerias share is the infuriating necessity of installing mild green salsa ON your tacos in the kitchen. Might as well put ketchup on them. As an aside, Efren’s in Santa Maria’s new Main/Broadway anchor has not opened yet.

Speaking of Pismo and segueing smoothly into taco-talk, EL MIRADOR CLOSED!!!!! OMG see now if you’re old skool taco freak, your heart just broke a little as that lump came up. Was it the best tacos in the world? No. Was it the finest Mexican food around? Also no. But was it the kindest, oldest, friendliest, warmest, comfortable Pismo Beach ANCHOR for us taco people? I know for a fact it was the first place I ever went for tacos when I moved here–and went back numerous times. In a rare form of honesty and demo-relevance, he called his al pastor “marinated pork”. The people-watching in those front two booths is etched into my brain forever. But think about it: Papi’s up the road was probably never a threat, but ONE BLOCK WEST, Tito’s, El Guero and Moreno’s all opened on opposing corners in the past few years. How long was he there?

I know I excitedly promised a SLO-centric breakdown and ranking of taquerias in my stories last week, which met with much anticipatory response because it truly IS THE MOST ASKED question of all time for me, but I started compiling and this is as far as I got:

Santa Cruz Express foothill the good one #1 maybe
Santa Cruz Taqueria NoMo the bad one
La Botana 805 meh
Taco King absolute dogfood
San Luis Taqueria good in a pinch prob top 5
Tacos de Mexico prolly #2 or 3 shocker
Taco ROCO by Beda’s the horrible one
Taco Rico CHICHO’S in Laguna the good one #1?
Taco RICO by Trader Joe’s also horrible
pretty sure la michocan closed and was horrible anyway
Corazon 805 has no al pastor so DQ
Efren’s Laurel horrible
Efren’s Downtown brings your tacos with a fork
No Luna Red or La Esquina or Rod & Hammer or Todo Bueno or CA Cantina or Feral or Mark because just not doing that sorry and Black Sheep’s chili verde would win anyway so go cry
Tonita’s the forgotten one that is actually pretty good #4?
El Guero SLO version total gringo unlike AG
Chili Peppers North & Chili Peppers South I feel north is a touch better but still
Taqueria San Miguel in a pinch #5?

Yes, just a quick jotting on my phone notes while I drive. I don’t think I can actually DO a ranking. With El Tizon/Burrito Express gone and replaced with La Botana, there honestly isn’t even a #1 taco in town anymore. It’s literally TWO GROUPS–and that’s as close as I can come to a Top-10. We’ll call it Two-5’s. Five which will do in a pinch but wouldn’t crack the Top-TWENTY Paso-to-Santa Maria; and Five I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy on. I still might write the list but for now just plan on driving north or south if you want real tacos.

Now go play outside.