A-TOWN DINER is back. And if I cared I’d look up the name of it for you.

HEMMINGWAY’S chef walked out, so all my friends lookin for kitchen-staff there’s one out there.

Did you know the AIRPORT has brisket on Saturday?

THE CARRISA postponed brunch til next Sunday citing “un-readiness”. MORE RESTAURANTS SHOULD DO THIS. See you 9/18!

BURGER VILLAGE has knocked off 5-Guys and In-N-Out for worst fries ever. An unbelievable feat.

AJ’s Kitchen is now MALU’S KITCHEN because we need another Mexican resty in Atascadero.

Golden China is now MARTINEZ because we need another Mexican resty in Atascadero.

Millennial walks into Festival office: “We can sell ALL your duckets with reels on Instagram!”
Festival: “Think we could stretch 20 minutes of entertainment out to 3 days?”
Promoter: “It’ll be amazing!”
Festival: “And let’s make them pay to come in and buy our stuff.”
PR: “We’ll brand it *Moving from Pavement to Grass*!”
Festival: “We should have a concert!”
Flatbrim: “Yeah but let’s make it at the oposite end of town.”
Festival: “And let’s make the entry fee ALL or NOTHING.”
Millennial: “They won’t have a choice!”
Festival: “Also let’s not advertize the only part of the event worth $200.”
Promoter: “The locals will be totes down with that!”
People who can afford $350 tickets: “I’m good, thanks.”
God: “Make it rain.”

That brewery in the Colony District has been bought by the ever-expanding Streetside empire so PAIRS WITH is for all intents-and-purposes gone.

No, I have not been to BABYDUDES, PONO, or BROOKS BURGER SLO yet so stop asking. You’ll be the FIRST to know.

No more stories. Go to sleep.